December 6, 2006

They say with pain, time will heal all…

I won’t ever forget that day. My mom drove to my school and I saw our truck parked out front. Knowing that I was sleeping over at a friends house that same day, I assumed she was just coming to drop off money. Boy, was that misinterpreted. The information I ended up receiving was shocking and horrific. All I remember seeing was my principal crying, mom in tears and the sound of the door closing behind me. She said “have a seat Chanele… I have something to tell you.” Fuck, that alone gave me the worst stomach butterflies ever, or more like a feeling I didn’t think I’d ever have to feel. It was a ‘slice my neck and drain me out whole’ kind of heartache and heart break. Following that feeling, my mother then began, “Chanele, hmm… I don’t know how to say this to you. Two cops showed up to grandma’s house this morning” – I then began to think oh fuck, what could I have done.. but then she continued, and the next few words that came out of her mouth left me in the utter most pain. – “Chanele, daddy passed away in a car accident late last night.”  I felt every inch of my body drop and I went completely numb. 

This couldn’t be real, it didn’t feel real.